Life Isn't an Expectation to Take Care Of, It's a Privilege

One of my biggest pet peeves over the years is the countless men I've met that have been scared of commitment. Likely deadly afraid — like, to the point where there was something off about it. Something that smelled like death. You can sense it in your body, the people who don't want anything to be around life. They would rather be in situations that float around fantasy.

Fantasy is a fancy way of pretending to be alive, while remaining dead inside.

Allowing the death to rot you from the inside out, because of the root fear of killing life. Of the root fear of being afraid of being touched by life.

The Peter Pan syndrome.

The float around for an egoic sense of freedom.

When in reality, true freedom comes from the roots you create for yourself. The roots you anchor into this life, the life you've been given in this life. Not the idealized version of it. Not the version where you can fly away at any second, fly away from all your responsibility, be free from anything. The false illusion of freedom of choice.

This was particularly what I kept seeing within the world of polyamory during my short stay. The disgust around it. The lack of desire for true life that came from deep roots. The constant regurgitation of fleeting moments masking as life.

The life we all must realign to is the life that comes from sovereignly taking care of the world we are connected to. Deepening our connection into our roots, and from there, that devotion, realigning to what being alive is. The life that stems through the things we take care of. That seemingly take care of us. Not from obligation, but from nurturance.

This is why taking care of life is a privilege.

There's so much there to receive, when you fully give yourself away into the cycles of it. Not abandoning who you are. Or your essence. But trusting the transformation that comes from taking care of the life you have been given.